Dining Alone – Excerpt from Divorced Woman’s Diet eBook

Table for One, Please:

Finally, a meal without his fork in your plate

“What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be”
~Ellen Burstyn

The Single Scene:

You enter a new restaurant and self-consciously look around while holding Danielle Steel’s latest romance novel as a back-up plan. You wouldn’t dare go to a place you’ve been to when you were married – then you’d have to explain why you were alone and where “he” was.

Decisions, decisions: should you take out the food and overeat? Or sit down like you own the joint? “May I have a table?”, you bravely inquire practically under your breath. You’ve already convinced yourself that many people eat alone – not that there’s anything wrong with that. “A TABLE FOR ONE MISS?”, the host shouts to make sure every couple, widower, divorcee, adulterer and perhaps other solo soul notices.

Besides, how did he know I was now a Miss?

woman dining alone

Without further ado you are seated at the table in the middle of the restaurant, a conspicuous table for 2, except don’t forget, you are only one. You look around and settle in. For a fleeting moment you remember how it was to dine out with your man. You reminisce about some romantic moments with him and then fantasize that you are now dining here with the man of your dreams.

You quickly return to reality and the here and now.

You look at other couples and analyze their relationship. Are they talking, laughing, checking-out other people, bored? The majority of couples you study don’t seem to be having as good a time as the girl-friends, guy-friends or drunks at the bar. They certainly aren’t having as good a time as you are about to.

You take a deep breath, thinking to yourself: Hey, this isn’t so bad after all. I’m about to relax with an expensive glass of wine and a good meal as I sink into fantasy-land with Ms. Steel. Oh, and I think the Harlequin Man just showed up at the next table! You feel fine and put the book down to simply enjoy the moment.

What’s a girlfriend to do?

Solution: Ask the Nutritionist

It’s up to you! You can do what YOU want: cook, dine out, or shop for certain foods while keeping in mind what results you want.

Feeling alone when you’re with someone can be very lonely. Dining alone doesn’t mean you have to feel alone. Now that you’re divorced, you can take advantage of not getting sick to your stomach every time you feel alone when he’s sitting right next to you! You have choices! If you don’t feel like cooking or being alone then put on your favorite but comfortable outfit, grab your healthy attitude, chin up, shoulders back and go out! You can go out and eat whatever type of food YOU feel like eating and eat it at the restaurant of your choice.

Don’t deprive yourself!

Eat a light meal that you can enjoy and not regret when you leave the restaurant. A delicious salad, dressing on the side with a roll/bread or a starch such as a potato/sweet potato, rice, grain, pasta and vegetables should be satisfying both to your appetite and self-esteem. If you would like a dessert try some berries or fruit dish and/or a coffee or skim milk latte.

On the other hand, if you would rather relax at home then that’s your choice too! You can even cook a really smelly piece of fish and smother it with all the garlic of your dreams and then watch a tear-jerker movie on the living room TV.

Eating alone doesn’t have to stink!

Try to find new and fun activities to do. You can meditate, ride your bicycle, join a gym you feel comfortable at, take classes in yoga, Pilates, aerobics, step, tae-bo, spinning or kickboxing. Enjoy time with new friends who are trying to succeed at the same goals that you have in mind. You can also pick your favorite sport and take lessons. What about tennis, golf or swimming? Put yourself in situations that will pair you with people who have similar interests to yours. You can feel and look better because of it!

Some people love to eat out alone, some will never feel comfortable with it and still others are ready for the transition into being a solo diner. You can relax with a book, observe others, joke with the wait staff, talk on your cell phone – if you must – and have a leisurely meal. To address the vast number of single people considering dining alone, Marya Charles Alexander, the self-proclaimed solo dining maven, developed a website and wrote books regarding the condition known as D.D.S or “Dread of Dining Solo”. Many people feel out of place, judged or pitied by others while dining out alone. It’s a process, like anything else, you can learn. We do many things alone: we’re born alone, we read alone, learn alone, die alone and now we can dine alone.

Tips on Dining Alone:

  • Eat slowly and savor every bite
  • Read a good book “learn and eat’ or just relax and observe
  • Wear a snug outfit to prevent overeating and to remind you of your goals
  • Look around at the miserable couples and be glad you’re alone!

Relax – life can be good if you let it!

Emotionally Speaking….

Solution: Ask the women

How did you feel eating alone, at home or out in public, after your divorce?

Share with other women and add your voice in the comments